my naked body on a massage table video camera in right hand
panning across hair folicle eyebrows curved belly dark pubic wilderness
cock neither limp nor hard
toes unable to stay still
cut to poetry magnets on a refrigerator door, skin coloured
cultural messages, cock as weapon
or shameful angry
rare to find healthy idea positive model culturally sanctioned
cut to knife
the word father on refrigerator door
pan over body naked still
is sexual salvation even a possibility in this culture
cut to magnets: love, freedom. joy
close-up of cock
erect
actually my reflection in a mirror
but close-up implies no frame
impression of objective camera person filming me
not camera in my right hand
only cock in frame proud and joyful
free from expectations to be furious dirty

discuss concept and artistic merit
with graduate committee supervisor (who I adore)
“a loaded image” she laughs at her own pun
“I think you should show the film”
patient approval to undress myself
in class I warn of graphic sexual content
lights dim
VHS of my uninhibited flesh embodying joy delighted to be exposed without shame
without fear
cock much larger on the big screen so strange to see
wondering if classmates will hate me or be inspired
movie ends
applause
a man shakes his head “genius”
shakes my hand
Dore, my teacher, is smiling
her brown eyes a witness
my erection and the drop of joyful dew at the tip

____________________________________________________________________________ Brett Bevell is author of the illustrated poetry books America Needs a Buddhist President (White Cloud, 2004) and America Needs a Woman President (Monkfish, 2007) which aired US-wide on NPR. Brett is a former winner of the Paul Laurence Dunbar Poetry Prize.